Last week, due to my constant headaches and related issues (see previous post), I went to my doctor to see if these were symptoms we should investigate. He agreed that we should, and I had an MRI of my brain today, as a result. The test went fine; it was actually a lot quicker than I was expecting.
Anyway, I wasn't expecting to hear anything back about the test until tomorrow, at the earliest. When my phone rang around 7:00 pm with a "doctor's office" number on the screen, I was a little on edge. My attention really focused after I answered and heard my doctor's voice on the other end...at 7:00 at night...personally calling me with the results...
Alright, have I scared everyone enough? Let me just interject here, for all of our sanities, that the problem IS NOT cancer related. The scan showed no signs of any brain tumors or the like. Breathe, friends...breathe.
What the scan DID show was an enlarged pituitary gland. No, I didn't just sneeze. The pituitary gland, as explained to me by my doctor, is the "quarterback" of the hormones. It receives the "plays" from the "coaches" in the brain, and then "passes" the "ball" (signals) to the appropriate "receivers" in the body. The gland also sits on top of the optic chasm (the intersection of the nerves from your eyes), as well as near a bunch of other nerve sources. This probably explains the weird eye issues and lightheadedness I've been experiencing, as well as the random sharp nerve pains. The good news is that this doesn't appear to be an insanely scary problem, although it is something that needs to be studied and fixed in a timely manner. My doctor described this as a fixable problem, although we don't yet have all of the necessary equations to solve the problem.
In order to get the appropriate equations, I am due for more blood tests tomorrow that will check the levels of some specific hormones (my thyroid levels are all normal, as are various other levels, and the test will check some we haven't yet tested). Then, later this week, my family and I will meet with my doctor to go over everything (my symptoms, the scan, and the most recent blood work). After that, I will most likely go see a hormone specialist who can work with me to figure out the "why" and the "how". Why is the gland enlarged and how do we go about shrinking it? As of now, that's all I know, folks! :)
Today, someone asked me how I was feeling, emotionally, about all of this. Oddly enough, I knew the scan was going to show something, although I didn't think it would be cancer (and praise God that it did not show the nasty C-word!!). I'm actually glad it did show something; otherwise, I would feel like a wimpy idiot, blabbering about symptoms that stem from nowhere! Now, I know what is wrong, and I'm working toward knowing what needs to be done to fix it. One thing is certain: While I may not be happy to have another medical issue to deal with, my joy comes from the Lord (see last post). He is so much bigger than any attempt at trying to hinder His plans for my life, and I know that He can use, even this, to bring His name glory. I'm sure someone else has other plans, manipulating this to try and keep me from serving my God. You'd think by now he would learn...my response?
...watch this.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Icky Sicky...........JOY!!!!!!!!
Wow...long time, no see, dear blog...I guess, when I was sick, I felt like blogging was more of a tool than an outlet. When I was sick, I didn't feel the least bit chatty or bloggy...When I was blessed with feeling good, I didn't feel the least bit like sitting still!! Therefore, I used blogging as an update tool to keep family and friends informed, at their leisure. Hence the reason my posts were few and far between...once I finished chemo, I took off like a rocket, and left my blogging "tool" in the corner of the Internet somewhere.
Contrary to how it might seem, I actually do like writing and I do like recording my thoughts. I always keep a journal and I nearly always have something to say. Therefore, I've decided to take up this blogging idea, once again, this time by choice rather than necessity.
All of that said, I need to write a little catch-up with where I am right now. As I said, after completing chemo, I zoomed off into the world, off of my couch and back on my feet! It took a while to re-build my stamina, but before I knew it, I was back in school and back involved. I quickly resumed the hectic life of a senior in engineering school, accompanied by extra work, due to my one-year absence. One semester down, Christmas break, and I was back at it again!
I started feeling really tired a few weeks into the spring semester. After trying to ignore the nagging fatigue (and to pacify the concern of my mother), I went to see my doctor. He ran some tests, being extra-thorough, due to my past, and discovered that I had mono, once again. JOY. The source of this mono, as I've already had it before, was assumed to be my run-down immune system, as I took on the world after being set free. You'd think a girl would learn...Anyway, my oncologist ordered some other tests, and those results suggested that it might not actually be mono but a similar virus that caused the mono spot to turn positive. "A rose by any other name, would smell as..." stinky!! Bottom line, I didn't care what it was called; I just knew how it made me feel. So, at the council of my doctor, I dropped out of everything extra-curricular (and I do mean everything), and focused on school and sleep.
About a month into this icky sickiness, I still don't feel any better. Actually, I now feel a tad worse, as I am constantly light-headed and accompanied by annoying headaches. As a matter of fact, I've been getting really frustrated lately with my immune system. Is it too much to ask to be a normal 22-year-old with a normal amount of energy?? Maybe a cold or a sinus infection every now and then, but coooooooooooome oooooooooon...
This morning, during my quiet time, my Precious Lord had something to say about my frustrations, and I want to share what I learned (and am still learning) with you.
I've been reading in Psalms lately, so I picked up where I had left off. Recently, the verses have been about protection and taking grievances to God. This morning, the two verses (26 and 27) dealt with help and hope from God. In the Psalms, David often cries out to God in frustration and anguish in response to his circumstances, and God hears him. David also refocuses, and acknowledges God as the center of his hope and JOY. Okay, God...I'm with you...You = JOY...got it.
Well, He must have wanted the message to sink in a little deeper. For "some reason", I decided to find a book to read in the New Testament this morning. My hands "somehow" found Philippians, and I read the first verse, in which Paul writes that his JOY comes from the Lord, no matter the circumstances. There is a big difference between happiness and JOY: happiness is based on happenings, whereas JOY is based on Christ. How does this apply? While I am certainly not happy with my present icky-sicky state, my JOY is based on more than my surroundings!
If there's one thing that I can say, without a doubt, about myself, it's that I trust my God completely with the happenings of my life. I know He is working everything for the good of those who love Him. Sometimes, however, I get a little frustrated with the way in which He chooses to work, the most recent being my continual icky-sickiness. (Let me interject that I realize mono doesn't even compare with cancer. My frustrations lie in the fact that I just want to feel good again, for good!) What He taught me this morning is that I don't have to be happy with my circumstances, as happiness is based on happenings. I can, however, have JOY wherever I am, because my JOY is based on Christ, and Christ alone.
As if this post isn't long enough already, the coolness of God continues...I've been thinking a lot, lately, about my future husband and on the attributes I desire from my future life-partner as a Christian woman. Yesterday, God shifted my focus from what I want to what he (future husband) and He (God) want. What qualities do I need to let God hone in me, on my road to becoming a better godly woman? I believe the first quality God wants to work on is my JOY, reminding me of the source of that JOY and teaching me how to experience JOY in all things, based on an eternal focus.
So, here's a question to all of my fellow-single sisters in Christ out there. Where does your fulfillment come from? If you think you will finally find fulfillment and JOY within the confines of marriage (the "June Cleaver Syndrom"), you have been very deceived. No man, no matter how wonderful and Christ-centered, will ever be able to fulfill all of your heart's desires; nor will you, as a Christian woman, ever be able to meet all the needs of your husband's heart. Find your true JOY in the only One who can ever give you complete fulfillment--Jesus Christ.
"I have told you this so that My JOY may be in you and that your JOY may be complete." -John 15:11 (emphasis added)
Contrary to how it might seem, I actually do like writing and I do like recording my thoughts. I always keep a journal and I nearly always have something to say. Therefore, I've decided to take up this blogging idea, once again, this time by choice rather than necessity.
All of that said, I need to write a little catch-up with where I am right now. As I said, after completing chemo, I zoomed off into the world, off of my couch and back on my feet! It took a while to re-build my stamina, but before I knew it, I was back in school and back involved. I quickly resumed the hectic life of a senior in engineering school, accompanied by extra work, due to my one-year absence. One semester down, Christmas break, and I was back at it again!
I started feeling really tired a few weeks into the spring semester. After trying to ignore the nagging fatigue (and to pacify the concern of my mother), I went to see my doctor. He ran some tests, being extra-thorough, due to my past, and discovered that I had mono, once again. JOY. The source of this mono, as I've already had it before, was assumed to be my run-down immune system, as I took on the world after being set free. You'd think a girl would learn...Anyway, my oncologist ordered some other tests, and those results suggested that it might not actually be mono but a similar virus that caused the mono spot to turn positive. "A rose by any other name, would smell as..." stinky!! Bottom line, I didn't care what it was called; I just knew how it made me feel. So, at the council of my doctor, I dropped out of everything extra-curricular (and I do mean everything), and focused on school and sleep.
About a month into this icky sickiness, I still don't feel any better. Actually, I now feel a tad worse, as I am constantly light-headed and accompanied by annoying headaches. As a matter of fact, I've been getting really frustrated lately with my immune system. Is it too much to ask to be a normal 22-year-old with a normal amount of energy?? Maybe a cold or a sinus infection every now and then, but coooooooooooome oooooooooon...
This morning, during my quiet time, my Precious Lord had something to say about my frustrations, and I want to share what I learned (and am still learning) with you.
I've been reading in Psalms lately, so I picked up where I had left off. Recently, the verses have been about protection and taking grievances to God. This morning, the two verses (26 and 27) dealt with help and hope from God. In the Psalms, David often cries out to God in frustration and anguish in response to his circumstances, and God hears him. David also refocuses, and acknowledges God as the center of his hope and JOY. Okay, God...I'm with you...You = JOY...got it.
Well, He must have wanted the message to sink in a little deeper. For "some reason", I decided to find a book to read in the New Testament this morning. My hands "somehow" found Philippians, and I read the first verse, in which Paul writes that his JOY comes from the Lord, no matter the circumstances. There is a big difference between happiness and JOY: happiness is based on happenings, whereas JOY is based on Christ. How does this apply? While I am certainly not happy with my present icky-sicky state, my JOY is based on more than my surroundings!
If there's one thing that I can say, without a doubt, about myself, it's that I trust my God completely with the happenings of my life. I know He is working everything for the good of those who love Him. Sometimes, however, I get a little frustrated with the way in which He chooses to work, the most recent being my continual icky-sickiness. (Let me interject that I realize mono doesn't even compare with cancer. My frustrations lie in the fact that I just want to feel good again, for good!) What He taught me this morning is that I don't have to be happy with my circumstances, as happiness is based on happenings. I can, however, have JOY wherever I am, because my JOY is based on Christ, and Christ alone.
As if this post isn't long enough already, the coolness of God continues...I've been thinking a lot, lately, about my future husband and on the attributes I desire from my future life-partner as a Christian woman. Yesterday, God shifted my focus from what I want to what he (future husband) and He (God) want. What qualities do I need to let God hone in me, on my road to becoming a better godly woman? I believe the first quality God wants to work on is my JOY, reminding me of the source of that JOY and teaching me how to experience JOY in all things, based on an eternal focus.
So, here's a question to all of my fellow-single sisters in Christ out there. Where does your fulfillment come from? If you think you will finally find fulfillment and JOY within the confines of marriage (the "June Cleaver Syndrom"), you have been very deceived. No man, no matter how wonderful and Christ-centered, will ever be able to fulfill all of your heart's desires; nor will you, as a Christian woman, ever be able to meet all the needs of your husband's heart. Find your true JOY in the only One who can ever give you complete fulfillment--Jesus Christ.
"I have told you this so that My JOY may be in you and that your JOY may be complete." -John 15:11 (emphasis added)
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